We were advised late last week that we would be having an inspection of our apartment soon, so I went into overdrive on friday, and again on saturday morning, and when all of the cleaning was done, Flash and I went and bought a filing cabinet, and emptied 5 different filing boxes into it, and made 60 different categories ???!!!
Donni popped in on her way back to Wollongong on saturday afternoon, and I was so pleased to see her, but tired and a bit withdrawn, and after she left I realised that I had done it again... the combined stresses we have on us at the moment (inspection, Flash is away a lot at the moment, being away from the family in NZ etc) made me retreat into cleaning and tidying to reinstate external order -when the inside is in disarray...I didn't go to SSK, Wollongong snb, Pub knitting, I didn't go out with Flash for our traditional saturday breakfast. I cleaned, filed,and worked...and felt bad.
They say the unexamined life is not worth living, I am trying to learn from previous experience, and finding strategies to become a better person, I am paying attention to the warning flags, and am blessed that I am surrounded with a wealth of friends and family, and an understanding husband who finds me endearing.
To this end today I am working, I have not left the house - but I have gone to "the office" and will be back at 6pm (ok I'm on a lunch break now!) the dishes and vacum cleaner I walk past do not affect me - they belong to "home" they'll be there waiting for me at the end of the work day, oh,and I am definitely getting a cleaner!