packing ( rant warning)

I hate packing, I think carefully, make piles of clothes that "work" together, walk myself thru the days to figure out exactly what I need, make a trip to the mall to find yet another white t-shirt or whatever...have a couple of tantrums about my complete lack of "smart casual wear" and my complete lack of understanding as to what constitutes "smart casual" because it is kind of a contradiction in terms...I have smart...I have a healthy corporate wardrobe, because I hate having to think about what to wear in the mornings...I have an eclectic collection of interesting skirts and lacy/frilly/mesh tops that I wear the rest of the time, jeans do not like me, so I am really struggling with the casual...and I don't want to buy any more clothes...I feel like a sausage in track pants, most t-shirts and sweatshirts look weird on me, and don't get me started on polo shirts...sometimes I feel that some psycho designer made a model of me and made a mission of creating the very garment that makes me look like utter crap...and invented the polo shirt...and this is where things start to get very spooky, because we received a package from the cruise people yesterday, and inside it were 2 POLO SHIRTS!! one for Flash ( who suits them) and one for me ( who would rather wear trackies) but wait, theres more! they are 100% polyester and came with instructions that we MUST wear them at the airport and on the plane ( 9 hour flight...in polyester?) so that we are easy to keep track of, and to engender team spirit ( with 1600 people, 400 on our flight alone, thats not team spirit, thats a herd mentality)
so add that to the "suggestion" that we will need $2-300 dollars per person per day! for "incidentals" and you can kinda understand why I am having a mini-breakdown...we have to go for Flash's job, we don't have a choice, and we don't have that kind of money.
It is lovely that we are going on a cruise to exotic locales...but this is not like a vacation with your honey, this is a vacation with your honey, and 1600 of his customers, bosses and colleagues, whom he has to spend 6 hours a day in meetings with "send your wife to our spa or onboard jewellery store" and the rest of the time entertaining "paint that smile on dear...here comes Walter and his wandering hands" if Walter gets within 2 feet of me he won't have hands!

I know that I sound negative and whiny, but I suppose it is because my husband travels so much for work, and the company expects a lot from me in terms of attending a lot of functions, and putting up with a lot of lost family time, Flash was once away for a total of 30 weekend days, plus almost 100 week days in one year, this didn't include nights that he came home late, I am a very independent person, I even struggle with name tags! and I have a life and job of my own ( again yay finally!) I know that Flash appreciates that I carry a large load because of his job, but I am a wee bit peeved when these people basically order me to go on this trip, which means:

*getting my Mum over from NZ to watch the kids
*worrying about our finances as we have Holly starting Uni and needing books etc, and the painter needing progress payments etc.
*I start work the day after I return, and want to be fresh and alert...but don't fly well
* the "incidentals" costs are really worrying me
* I have to be on my best behaviour for a whole week, and bite my tongue often, in the face of bigots, racists, chauvanists and frank idiots, I must spend hours each day in the company of women who will try to demean my clothing, jewellery (or lack of) and hairstyle, and the strongest reply I can make will be something like " I find that comment hurtful" or " I think we should just agree to disagree"

I am praying that somewhere in that 1600 I will find a kindred spirit, with a black sense of humour, and a wry grin, someone I can act out scenes from "Titanic" with ( no not the bowsprit scene you twit!) and mimic the people who pain us ( one in particular comes to mind...exiting the jeweller's room in Africa..."this bracelet was only $2400, so Flash, what did you buy Justine? did he show you how much he loves you dear?" on that trip my new friend and I became ill at the number of times other women equated the amount spent by their husbands, with love.
And Flash will be there, understanding my pain, last night when I told him about the package we had received ( oh he is away at the moment!) and that we could line up and get our photo taken doing the "Titanic" thing ( yes the bowsprit thing) and how daggy I thought it was, he was much more positive..."turn it around, make it something humourous" and he is right...I'll get him a yellow wig, and myself a stick on mustache, he can be Kate Winslet...keep posted for THAT photo!

anyway, the reason I haven't posted for a few days is that I have been sick :-( sinus, blood nose etc, and have been trying hard to take it easy and get well, don't want the whole sinus-head explosion, thing on landing, and then spend the week in bed, and had my eyes tested as GP thought I might have a detaching retina !*%@#%$ aaaarrgggghhhhh, but all was fine, just a wee floater, and I got to spend the rest of the day freaking the kids out with my "Village of the damned" eyes, as the drops kept my pupils fully dilated for 6 hours.

On the knitting front, I have started a dreaded poncho for Blaise ( she begged) out of the Cleckheaton Lala, and am knitting on the machine, a four foot long lace panel, which I will then cut and sew sleeves into, so it is a kind of wrap cardi, saw something similar in a shop on the weekend, and knew I could do it so much better...we'll see.

once again, my apologies for the negative ranting, I know I am very lucky, and blessed, and if the worst thing that can happen to me is a cruise, well I should be slapped upside the head for complaining.