Saturday, April 30, 2005


hopefully this will be the last post of me obsessing on this subject!

anyway, we arrived home on wednesday night, back to work thursday morning, and flat out since then...finally I get a chane to stop, think, post.

NZ was great, spent most of my time as taxi driver to the kids! but they are the reason fro the trip, so i was glad to do anything to see smiles on their faces. Blaise revelled in her time with the old "tuesday night dinner club" and they loved having her, even the Mums and Dads had missed her, and couldn't do enough for her. We had sunday lunch for Charlotte's birthday, and I caught up with my sister, nephew and neice -to-be ( "the bump") my grandparents, my ex mother-out-law, and others. Blaise had a session with my parent's personal trainer Shirl...(another adopted family member) who outlined a plan to help with Blaise's right-side dominance, but was very impressed with the child's strength and fitness.
I visited my old work, and had lunch with some friends, walked around the office, and people said "Hi Justine" and then did a double take...and shreiked remembering that they hadn't seen me in 7 months! it was great.

Flash got ill on the saturday night, I thought he had too much to drink, but he hadn't...poor baby spent the rest of the weekend in bed at the hotel, and then came home on the monday.

I was up and down like a yoyo...emotionally, went past our house, and it is nice and tidy, no worries there, felt like the city was too small, too spread out, too boring, too cold, then...missed it like heck, the clothes fit me, the shoes fit me, the people speak like me, drove past the Avondale market, where we used to spend early sunday morning getting the best, freshest cheapest fruit, veges and exotic ingredients for thai and indian curries. I took the girls out and we bought kiwi music, kiwi lollies, kiwi bottled water ( H2Go fizzy with mandarin or blackcurrant) and as I listened to one of the new cds - Together in concert -live- Tim Finn Bic Runga Dave Dobbyn
I realised that I had just spent my own 6 months in a leaky boat...that I was the one making the holes, so i am just getting on with it, I am going to enjoy the next 18 months, and make a decision at the end of that.

Charlotte stayed in NZ, she is now living with her paternal grandmother, in a beautiful cottage in Titirangi, she was desperately unhappy in Australia, I took advice from everyone I respect, and it was all the same...she is almost a grown up, she can make some decisions for herself...and this is a safe way for everyone to get what they want...she will start back at school on monday, which is great, she needs to go back to school, I miss her, but I felt like I was torn...I know the decision to move to Aus was the best, Flash has worked so long for an opportunity like this, he deserves it, Blaise and Maria are fine here, I waver, but I know in my heart that it is good for us, Holly is becoming more she should be, and is happy and bubbly and excited about life, she is there for her sister now too.
So my house is a wee bit empty, and I am still sad, every time they handed a baby to me, my Mama said..."you have to start letting her go" and even though I left Holly when we moved here, it didn't hit me hard until I left Charlotte.When i text her, she texts back with comments like "its all sweet as Mummy" or "LOL Mummy, its all good".

So ,like I said, we came home ( yeah made it thru immigration...Maria what did you pack in your bag...Oh my God what do you mean APPLES????...oh ok applesauce in a I bought 2 bottles of the amazing 42 Below vodka, in manuka honey and passionfruit flavours, to make the "butterfly effects" cocktail we had in Singapore.I wanted to get Feijoa, because I love those perfumed beauties, memories of childhood under the feijoa tree, biting them open...mmmm yum! but I know Flash isn't that into feijoa...thats cos he is from Mosgiel, say no you honey!

Blaise came 8th in her cross country race yesterday, this means she goes to the school zone meet...we are SO proud...bursting! the last cross country she did was just over 3 years ago, before her operation, and she came last, and was BLUE (the we were bursting with pride because of her sheer determination to finish...and she had all the other kids going back and running with her, cos they loved her)

as you can see , no knitting has been done, just a few rows or the noro scarf, which I will hopefully complete at SSK this afternoon, and will then felt...VERY slightly. I have plans to make a needle roll this evening, from beautiful taffetta my Mama gave me, and bits of left over fabric from Trelise Cooper's sale, I am adapting this pattern from Caitlin's blog...but Flash wants to see "Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy"...I do too..but can't sit thru a whole movie, I fidget too much...It took me 5 go's to watch Titanic, I kept stopping and starting it! I prefer to buy the DVD, then I can watch movies at my own pace.